WARNING: THIS MAP MAY FEATURE CONTENT SOME PLAYERS MAY FIND DISTURBING OR OFFENSIVE. ALL CONTENT IS FICTIONAL AND DERIVED AS PARODY FROM SOURCE MATERIAL. THIS BOARD IS STRONGLY RECOMMENDED FOR PLAYERS ABOVE THE AGE OF 18.

slasher - a map by cumberdale

Its the start of the Halloween weekend and the theatres are flooded with scary movies. In the back room of the theatre, young Risky is carrying a large box of film reels for the 8 new movies premiering. Tripping over a bag of leftover popcorn, Risky drops the box, and the film reels pop out, unravelling everywhere.

Quickly, Risky grabs all the strips of film and the empty reels and stuffs them all back into the box. Finding a empty space on a nearby shelf, he quickly shoves the box in and heads for the breakroom. Time for a quick break, he thinks, they'll be time to sort out those movies later.

Back in the storeroom, a strange sound begins to emanate from the slightly shaking box of interwined films...

****** Basic Rules:

Base attack dice in this turn based game are 8 sided. Players get a bonus unit for every three territories they hold. 2 transfers, no return back to attack.

Each continent is named for one of the 8 gruesome new movies. Its star rating is how many bonus units you receive for holding the continent. Each territory is a scene (more specifically, a kill) in that movie. While most scenes are typical slasher fare, a few stand out for special reasons.

Scene Ratings

An offscreen kill (O) is a total cop-out. Come on, the movie's r-rated, the only thing holding the director back is laziness. This territory is taking a -1 to defense. (7 sided dice)

Gratuitus Nudity (N) is really the best thing some of these movies have to offer. Heck, half the audience is only there to see whats-her-face lose her clothes. This territory is worth a bonus unit all by itself!

Heavy Gore (G) makes even the hardest audience member shudder and cringe. But its so densensitizing, the next time they see the movie, its usually not as bad. Once you capture Gore, this territory receives a +1 to defense! (9 sided dice.)

Violent Rampage (R) is when the movie has everyone on the edge of the seat waiting to see who the slasher goes after next. Attacking any neighbouring terriroy from this territory gives a +2 on the attack roll. (10 sided dice)

Movie Reviews Section

All Hallows's Eve * * * * *

"For a movie that essentially revolves around a madman who is far too old to be trick or treating, the fact this isn't complete trash is something of a marvel in itself. The actually convincing expressions on the characters faces as they are one by one diced, mutilated, stabbed, beaten, destroyed etc, is rather convincing as is the director/actor/videographer's style of the killer's POV. Impressive thrill ride."

Bloody Sunday 7 * * *

"Another rehashing of the last three movies in the series, Bloody Sunday 7 is slighty better than the 6th installment. Father Bernard's rampage continues unchecked in a new town, but three aspiring choir singers attempt to bring his reign of unholy terror to an end. The ending, of course, will catch no one by surprise."

Camp Cruelty * * * *

"Not your typical outdoor survival fare, an excellent script, spiced up by the spirited acting of lead Maera Casanblah and sheer splendor of visual effects. While we don't know the twisted killer's identity until the final third of the film, there are plenty of surprises throughout the movie."

Die In Your Sleep * *

"Up-and-coming director Michael McMaster's sophomore effort is less action packed then his first film. Attempts at atmostphere and tension fall flat through the first half of the movie. The audience is in as much danger from suffering the same fate the film's title promises, sadly the instrument of death is in fact, boredom."

First House On The Right After The 7-11 * * * * *

"This moody new film from director Paul Ryski, has a few big things going for it. The tension, dread and general feeling of helplessness as the film winds towards its almost unbearably obvious conclusion. Judging by the smell of the audience, they were equally shocked by a particular scene that I will describe any further in order to let you, dear reader, experience this... experience for yourself."

Last Stop Motel * * * *

"A disconcerting collection of random visitors to the Motel of death, leads viewers through a torrid mess of poor editing and low budget shots. That said, the final half of the movie surprisingly manages to make something out of the seemingly unconnected links and we are left in a state of confused euphoria bordering on irritation."

Shout Loudly In Terror * * *

"There is always the potential dealing with such a young cast that there is going to be less than stellar acting at times. It is evident from the opening scene that a tighter script could have helped these hapless highschoolers far more than summer school. Their new science teacher/killer Mr Jengle brings a charisma to the screen that hasn't been seen since the last Pee Wee Herman movie."

Sorority Slaughter 6 * *

"Clearly, the ideas have run out at SHMD Studios. The sleazy excess that made the first several Sorority movies a hit, has been way overdone and taken to a place that's just plain wrong. Don't see this, there's plenty of websites that can help you with these needs. A waste of time and implants."

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Am I deranged? I don't know. I hope you have fun playing!

Cumberdale